Stella Awards

The Stella Awards were inspired by Stella Liebeck. In 1992, Stella, then 79, spilled a cup of McDonald's coffee onto her lap, burning herself. A New Mexico jury awarded her $2.9 million in damages, but that's not the whole story. Ever since, the name "Stella Award" has been applied to any wild, outrageous, or ridiculous lawsuits.

With no disrespect to any of my friends who happens to be called "Stella", I'm particularly amused when I saw these "Stella" cases online. It goes to show how a democratic judicial system can be seriously distorted by people with ill-intentions. While most of them seemed ridiculous and funny, I do agree with the web author's comments on how blatant these people use abuses the system for their benefits. Without further ado, I present you the "True Winners of Stella Awards" from year 2002 till 2007. All of these cases are found in America, taken directly from the website(http://www.stellaawards.com/index.html)


2002 Winner
Sisters Janice Bird, Dayle Bird Edgmon and Kim Bird Moran sued their mother's doctors and a hospital after Janice accompanied her mother, Nita Bird, to a minor medical procedure. When something went wrong, Janice and Dayle witnessed doctors rushing their mother to emergency surgery. Their legal fight centered on the "negligent infliction of emotional distress" -- not for causing distress to their mother, but for causing distress to them for having to see the doctors rushing to help their mother. The case was fought all the way to the California Supreme Court, which finally ruled against the women.

2003 Winner
The City of Madera, Calif. Madera police officer Marcy Noriega had the suspect from a minor disturbance handcuffed in the back of her patrol car. When the suspect started to kick at the car's windows, Officer Noriega decided to subdue him with her Taser. Instead of pulling her stun gun from her belt, she pulled her service sidearm and shot the man in the chest, killing him instantly. The city, however, says the killing is not the officer's fault; it argues that "any reasonable police officer" could "mistakenly draw and fire a handgun instead of the Taser device" and filed suit against Taser, arguing the company should pay for any award from the wrongful death lawsuit the man's family has filed.

2004 Winner
Mary Ubaudi of Madison County, Ill. Ubaudi was a passenger in a car that got into a wreck. Ubaudi demands "in excess of $150,000" from the Mazada Motors, who made the car she was riding in, claiming it "failed to provide instructions regarding the safe and proper use of a seatbelt."

2005 Winner
Christopher Roller of Burnsville, Minn. Roller is mystified by professional magicians, so he sued David Blaine and David Copperfield to demand they reveal their secrets to him -- or else pay him 10 percent of their lifelong earnings, which he figures amounts to $50 million for Copperfield and $2 million for Blaine. The basis for his suit: Roller claims that the magicians defy the laws of physics, and thus must be using "godly powers" -- and since Roller is god (according to him), they're "somehow" stealing that power from him.

2006 Winner
Allen Ray Heckard. Even though Heckard is 3 inches shorter, 25 pounds lighter, and 8 years older than former basketball star Michael Jordan, the Portland, Oregon, man says he looks a lot like Jordan, and is often confused for him -- and thus he deserves $52 million "for defamation and permanent injury" -- plus $364 million in "punitive damage for emotional pain and suffering", plus the SAME amount from Nike co-founder Phil Knight, for a grand total of $832 million. He dropped the suit after Nike's lawyers chatted with him, where they presumably explained how they'd counter-sue if he pressed on.

And the Winner for 2007's Stella Award goes to...

Roy L. Pearson Jr. The 57-year-old Administrative Law Judge from Washington DC claims that a dry cleaner lost a pair of his pants, so he sued the dry cleaning business for more than $65 million. Representing himself, Judge Pearson cried in court over the loss of his pants, saying that there certainly isn't a more compelling case in the District archives. But the Superior Court judge wasn't moved: he called the case "vexatious litigation", scolded Judge Pearson for his "bad faith", and awarded damages to the dry cleaners. But Pearson persisted: he's appealing the decision. And he has plenty of time on his hands, since he was dismissed from his job. Last this article was written, Pearson's appeal is still pending.

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I'm really amazed at how "creative" the human mind can be when given absolute freedom to conjure anything in the name of "emotional distress" and "financial loss". All you have to do is to convince a jury made up of men and women like yourself. Sometimes, you can even engage an eloquent attorney to back you up. I can't imagine the amount of time and money that goes into these cases every year. Not to mention the economic costs of gathering the judges, lawyers, jurors needed to handle such cases.

If these cases can fall thru, then you might even consider suing the Planet Sun because it did not provide enough warning to prevent you from over-exposing to its rays, causing you to have skin cancer as the result. Then again, the Sun will not be able to compensate you a single cent, so it's better to sue your doctors for not doing enough to discourage you from over exposure to the sun causing you to have skin cancer.

At this point, I was reminded of another lawsuit where a chain-smoker cum lung-cancer patient sued the tobacco companies for "not providing enough warnings" on it's product labels to warn against the harmful effects of smoking. The court ruled in favour of the plaintiff.